Life has got you down and you feel like you have hit rock bottom. You have tried every way to make ends meet. Your friends have strayed away. Your significant other has betrayed you for the last time. The bullying won’t stop. You relapsed after promising yourself that was the last time. Your parents won’t stop fighting. The abuse won’t stop. You feel like you are losing every ounce of sanity left in your body and you are searching for a way out. All you can do is whisper “God”.
I remember when I thought there was no way out. I thought no one loved me after being abandoned as a baby, teased in school, raped, homeless, boy friends cheating on me, and the list goes on. I turned to alcohol to disguise my pain and paint that beautiful smile everyone knows me for. Who was I kidding. I was drowning in my misery, and depression had me thinking the unthinkable…suicide. The last person I wanted to speak to was God. I could not bring myself to pray. After all, who was I to a King? Why would He listen to me? I am not worthy of being in the presence of royalty. I was losing hope. After suffering the last blow to my heart, I knew I had hit rock bottom. I lost everything after recently gaining everything. My life was turned upside down. I began to ponder how I was going to leave this world. I was tired. I heard the train whistle. Did anyone care if I was gone? I wanted to impact those people that wounded me so deeply even if it was at my expense. I wanted to leave them with a message for them to feel guilty for the rest of their lives; therefore, they will never hurt anyone like they hurt me. I wanted the pain to stop. I wanted God.
Little did I know God was always there. He never left. He had been calling me the entire time. Most of the time I was fighting the urge to come back to Him. I heard Him calling; I did not want to listen. I was afraid of what happiness looked like. Sounds crazy right? I did not think I deserved everything I knew the Bible said and God represented. The entire time He was trying to show me peace and love, yet I allowed myself to remain in troubled situations and a victim of my circumstances instead of a victor that God created me to be. I allowed myself to think I was worthless and unworthy of love because of my beginnings. It wasn’t what God had planned. I allowed every single problem I had to take over my life.
I remember along my journey, I heard a Pastor say, “You have to see yourself out of the storm”. I thought to myself, “Do you know how many storms I have had to endure? Hurricanes, typhoons, earthquakes, landslides, you name it; I have felt it. Most importantly I SURVIVED THEM. It was then I began to realize that if I made it out any other time in the past, what made this time any different. I am a fighter and a survivor. I am just like you. Every let down, every name I was called, every hit I took, every sip of alcohol I drank, every guy that said they did not love me anymore, any one that said I wasn’t good enough prepared me for the strength that I have today. Unbreakable and unshakeable. The strength that comes from the armor of God that I put on everyday (Ephesians 6:10-18) carries me through the journey. It is our protection from the enemy that tries to sneak up on us time to time and attempts to remind us of our past to knock us down. When you have this armor on, you are protected by God. Nothing can hurt you and no matter what people say it bounces right off.
Check this out…I realized that the more I drew closer to God and moved away from everyone that caused me harm, the closer I felt God and the more my life changed for the better. We cannot confuse man for God. No one can do what God can do for us. He is the healer of our past and preparer for our future. He can turn all negatives to positives. That is right, no matter what has happened to you, God can turn that into your purpose. The world needs to hear how you overcame the abuse, the heartache, the beatings, the teasing, the disappointments. God created you out of greatness, and you are not defined by what people have done or said to you. It was preparation for what was to come.
Expect the best out of your life. See yourself out of the storm even when you are still feeling the beating of the rain and winds. See the life you want to live. See your happiness. Most of all…see yourself being who God called you to be! Turn to Him and not to anyone for answers. Build that relationship with Him while you are in the storm. All He wants is to get the glory how he took His princess and His prince and set them back into their castle to LIVE. You are royalty. You are a child of God. Expect NOTHING less than that!
PUSH for a relationship with God to hear Him more clearly. PRAY for guidance. Grind knowing that all things work together for those that love the Lord.
Are you going through a storm? Do you know what seeing yourself out of the storm looks like? Feel free to share your testimony or your storm and let’s pray about it together.